Chapter One, And in the Beginning, ......

"Dear Jay, when did you find out about this terrible malady?", one may ask.  
Thanks for asking, that's a very good question, I must say.
A little short family history is needed at this point before I go back to my discovery.
Some of you may have known and some may not, but back when my father was 57 years old,
he was diagnosed with cancer of the Kidney.  He was operated on to remove his kidney and went on with a renewed zest for life for a few more years until the cancer Metastatically went 
(that's relocated to us laymen) to his lungs where it proceeded to dispose of him is a very quick and unbecoming fashion.  My mother on the other hand is a rock at 83 and is still kickin' it.  Thus, being their child, I have always had hopes that 1) cancer is not a genetic disease or that heredity on my Fathers side would screw me or that I got a bunch of good genes from my mother's side of the family for a little protection.  The jury is still out on those topics but at least you all are caught up to 2008.


2008, my 50th birthday!!  "How great is this" quote the Flounder.  I'm in a good place with all aspects of my life; work is going well, still married to a great girl who hasn't see it fit to divorce my ass after 10 years,  pretty healthy routine in the mountains with my dogs hiking 2-4 miles every other day I am home.  Life is good as the tee shirt states!
Then, 2 days after Christmas, poof,  I start having chest pains at 2:30am.  I'm have a freakin' heart attack. So much for being invincible. 
That was a shocker.  I'm only telling you, dear reader, because having a heart attack and a stint put into one of my arteries for the rest of my life, will have future bearing on my life and how I live it from that point forward.  It also adds a bit of danger for any future medical conditions that may spring up.
So much for the abridged version of my family medical history.  We spring board to 2012.

A little intro to this Blog

I decided that for my mental sanity and for some inner peace for the next 3-6 months that I would start writing down my thoughts, ideas, rants about the process of being a "cancer victim".  Being a victim seems much more apropos than claiming to be a "patient".  Victim seems a very justified term.
It wasn't like I went out one day looking for cancerous cells to implant into my body.
I don't think you'd ever hear me say "Wow, I'm 54 years old.  I've traveled to odd worldly places I thought I would never had the chance to encounter.  I've drank, eaten, and tried some fairly goofy foods alcohols, and recreational items over the years.  I have had the pleasure of bedding down with quite a few women around the world, I'm still getting laid and, in fact,  rather enjoy being in love with a fantastic person. But ya know, I think I'd like to try that cancer thing to see what it's like!" 
Ahhh no, not something that I would say or would any one say.   That's why I'm a victim.
It's why at the end of treatment you're a "survivor".  Victims become survivors.  
Patients don't survive, they recover and move on like when you have a cold or the flu.  
Cancer is a rapist, it is an assailant who is attacking me, taking me of my existence.  
Physically and mentally flailing me down and my only means of fighting back is with a
bazaar array of radioactivity, chemistry, and liquid nourishment.  Now there's a life adventure!



But, I digress.  I was explaining why the blog.   I inevitably will either forget, lose, or misplace ideas, information, or rantings that I may need for the future, find amusing, or just need to get off my chest before I bite someones head off!  There will be technical inputs that some might find tedious while others might find useful.  There will be anecdotes of funny situations which some may find not that funny but they made me giggle.  And there will be lots of rants to try to rid myself of the negativity that is gong to be seeping into every pore of my body during this very arduous ordeal.


These writings will also serve as a timeline of the process of being a cancer victim, from the discovery phase, to the diagnosis, through the treatment, and finally the recovery.  I'm not going to hold back on language; the vocal filter was never one of my strong points.  I will probably change the names of those persons and physicians who I will have nothing but disdain for but do have fear of a slander lawsuit.
It's my intention to lay it all out there, the good and the ugly.  It's my hope that this will help with the healing, give me a day to day goal, and to keep anyone who is interested updated on my little journey.

I also hope that once this gets going that anyone who reads this will also feel free to write down anything they would like to contribute; be it information, your own personal rants and ravings,
a joke to lighten up a minute of a bad chemo day,  or to just throw me a couple words of encouragement every now and then.   Come on, throw a dog a bone every now and then!