Sorry, haven't posted for a while. The past 2 months have been a whirlwind and I'm just now getting into the routine of daily treatments. Where did I leave off.......
Oh yes, the bumps on my neck. So they didn't go away with antibiotics. Bummer.
Next step was go see my doctor again to find a solution. Went to see her and she immediately schedules me to go see a surgical specialist. Go see this guy 2 days later and he checks out my "bumps" and gives the usual doctor answers with a "hmmmmm". "You need a Biopsy" he exclaims so we can rule out cancer". CANCER, what the fuck. I thinking it's some funky ass disease I brought back from Africa or Saudi Arabia what ever other third world country I had been to in the last 6 months. Not cancer. Too young for that, not sick at all, feeling pretty damn good!
Whatever, next day I go to hospital and get myself a fine needle aspiration. Definition=some guy sticks a syringe needle into one of the larger swollen lymph nodes on my neck, swizzles it around a bit, and sucks out some tissue so some lab can determine what's making or not making my lymph nodes swell.
Fortunately, the guy with the needle first sticks the area with a local anesthetic to numb the area. I tell this to you now, dear readers, because there's more to come about fine needle aspirations.
So cool, got this lab working on my sample. In the mean time I have the National Spelling Bee to do in Washington DC. Labs won't be back for 10 days, right in the middle of S.p.e.l.l.i.n.g.
No biggie, just going to go to DC, do my gig, fly to Orlando for the next one and have the next 2 months off to figure out what's going on. Perfect.
On Wednesday, the "specialist' calls. Test is back from the lab. "Dude, you have metastatic squamous cell carcinoma in your lymph nodes" claims the guy. "Dude, what the fuck is that?' I retort.
"Cancer, but that's not the worst part of the news, it's not where it started. You can't get that kind of cancer in your lymph nodes, it has to start somewhere else and move (thus the metastaic part for the laymen out there) from somewhere else. This is serious stuff, you need to get on a plane right now and come back home so we can figure this out"
Right, the day before the National Spelling Bee finals broadcast nationwide I'm going to go up to the producer and inform him I outta there, he'll need to find some one else to finish the show.
Needless to say, I didn't. I had these squamous cells floating around in my neck for a couple of weeks, whats another couple of days. Happy show, happy client, semi-happy LD.
I did cancel my next Orlando show, thank you very much Nick Farrel for you understanding and for my wife threatening divorce (love you!) Sometimes money isn't everything and peace of mind is everything. It is at this point that the adventure begins; to trek and probe the inner and outer most parts of my body. Places no man, or woman, has ever ventured forth. Going into the Dampest, darkest, nasty, smelly spots of my being in search of the illusive "host" of the metastatic squamous cells.
Oh the humanity! I was going to feel so defiled and abused, balled up and thrown out like a greasy microwaved burrito wrapper from 7-11.
Oh yes, the bumps on my neck. So they didn't go away with antibiotics. Bummer.
Next step was go see my doctor again to find a solution. Went to see her and she immediately schedules me to go see a surgical specialist. Go see this guy 2 days later and he checks out my "bumps" and gives the usual doctor answers with a "hmmmmm". "You need a Biopsy" he exclaims so we can rule out cancer". CANCER, what the fuck. I thinking it's some funky ass disease I brought back from Africa or Saudi Arabia what ever other third world country I had been to in the last 6 months. Not cancer. Too young for that, not sick at all, feeling pretty damn good!
Whatever, next day I go to hospital and get myself a fine needle aspiration. Definition=some guy sticks a syringe needle into one of the larger swollen lymph nodes on my neck, swizzles it around a bit, and sucks out some tissue so some lab can determine what's making or not making my lymph nodes swell.
Fortunately, the guy with the needle first sticks the area with a local anesthetic to numb the area. I tell this to you now, dear readers, because there's more to come about fine needle aspirations.
So cool, got this lab working on my sample. In the mean time I have the National Spelling Bee to do in Washington DC. Labs won't be back for 10 days, right in the middle of S.p.e.l.l.i.n.g.
No biggie, just going to go to DC, do my gig, fly to Orlando for the next one and have the next 2 months off to figure out what's going on. Perfect.
On Wednesday, the "specialist' calls. Test is back from the lab. "Dude, you have metastatic squamous cell carcinoma in your lymph nodes" claims the guy. "Dude, what the fuck is that?' I retort.
"Cancer, but that's not the worst part of the news, it's not where it started. You can't get that kind of cancer in your lymph nodes, it has to start somewhere else and move (thus the metastaic part for the laymen out there) from somewhere else. This is serious stuff, you need to get on a plane right now and come back home so we can figure this out"
Right, the day before the National Spelling Bee finals broadcast nationwide I'm going to go up to the producer and inform him I outta there, he'll need to find some one else to finish the show.
Needless to say, I didn't. I had these squamous cells floating around in my neck for a couple of weeks, whats another couple of days. Happy show, happy client, semi-happy LD.
I did cancel my next Orlando show, thank you very much Nick Farrel for you understanding and for my wife threatening divorce (love you!) Sometimes money isn't everything and peace of mind is everything. It is at this point that the adventure begins; to trek and probe the inner and outer most parts of my body. Places no man, or woman, has ever ventured forth. Going into the Dampest, darkest, nasty, smelly spots of my being in search of the illusive "host" of the metastatic squamous cells.
Oh the humanity! I was going to feel so defiled and abused, balled up and thrown out like a greasy microwaved burrito wrapper from 7-11.
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