Out of the hospital, I'm sort of a mess but I'm out of the hospital. Can't swallow or eat real food but at least I have my tube. With that I can maintain my weight and fluid intake to keep me healthy for the last few weeks. And that's a very good thing.
Believe it or not, the weeks schedule of treatments went fine. Had all treatments this week and I seem to be just getting closer to being finished. The one thing really starting to bother me in the skin on the outside of my neck. The radiation is really doing a number on it despite how how coconut oil I slather over it. I have two recommended moisturisers, one a very medicinal smelling lotion and the organic coconut oil. I choose the oil, my body seems to like it more but I have to make sure that I have removed it first thing in the morning before Tomo otherwise its like supercharging the radiation. Like putting baby oil and iodine on your skin then going to the beach all day. Bad; very, very bad.
Kim's been a trouper. I know that I am not in the best place in my head. Getting up in the morning, for what ever that means because I'm sleeping about 4 hours total a night in about 25 minute chunks, is becoming a real mental challenge. And I know that I am using Kim as a whipping post for my anger and frustration. I don't even know I am doing it until later in the day after I think about it but by that point it's too late, the damage is done. I can tell that it's taking a toll on her as well as on our relationship. I just can't help myself. Maybe recognizing it is a good first step to fixing it.
So that's really it about week 5. I'm a physical and mental mess but I got 2 weeks until I am finished. Put the blinders on and look for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Believe it or not, the weeks schedule of treatments went fine. Had all treatments this week and I seem to be just getting closer to being finished. The one thing really starting to bother me in the skin on the outside of my neck. The radiation is really doing a number on it despite how how coconut oil I slather over it. I have two recommended moisturisers, one a very medicinal smelling lotion and the organic coconut oil. I choose the oil, my body seems to like it more but I have to make sure that I have removed it first thing in the morning before Tomo otherwise its like supercharging the radiation. Like putting baby oil and iodine on your skin then going to the beach all day. Bad; very, very bad.
Kim's been a trouper. I know that I am not in the best place in my head. Getting up in the morning, for what ever that means because I'm sleeping about 4 hours total a night in about 25 minute chunks, is becoming a real mental challenge. And I know that I am using Kim as a whipping post for my anger and frustration. I don't even know I am doing it until later in the day after I think about it but by that point it's too late, the damage is done. I can tell that it's taking a toll on her as well as on our relationship. I just can't help myself. Maybe recognizing it is a good first step to fixing it.
So that's really it about week 5. I'm a physical and mental mess but I got 2 weeks until I am finished. Put the blinders on and look for the light at the end of the tunnel.
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